Faith, eh?

It's been quite the rollercoaster ride over the past week.  And not the Millennium  Force kind; more like the Jr. Gemini: full of highs and lows, but generally pretty low the whole time.  Or maybe the Corkscrew: dizzying and a ride I would never like to take again.  I digress....

I ended up deciding not to go to YL camp with Grosse Pointe.  I still don't feel well, can't really be on my feet at all, and just generally don't feel like myself at all.  It was a hard decision, but I think the the right one.  And I've been comforted and encouraged by friends and I've seen my decision reinforced by the fact that I'm either:

1. in bed

2. in bed fast asleep

3. in a chair at the computer (by the way, we don't have wi-fi at my house in Northville and it's kind of a hassle to switch the internet cables...so I'm stuck on our (cough) Dell (ick) desktop using (ugh) Windows (ahh).

4. on a couch watching tv.

A friend of mine wrote in an email: "Now you really get to see how that 'faith' thing works, eh?"  And he's completely right.  Small parts of me still say that "the trip won't be the same, the follow-up is hurt dramatically, you needed to be there, you're letting people down"...yada yada yada.  But lately the voices telling me "it'll be okay, camp will go on, kids will still meet Jesus, and you'll have your time in GP" are becoming louder and louder.  And those are obviously all fueled by a faith that has been growing stronger than ever.  So why lose it now?  

At this point, I can't think of this as anything but another opportunity to grow.  One of the ways I've seen my faith grow is when God gives me a reason to lose faith and I don't.  And I'm not looking to blink anymore.  Partly because it hurts my eye to blink, but mostly because I trust my Lord :)

The cry of my heart

It's been quite the summer for me thus far.  I graduated college and began walking into a life that no longer had a predetermined route for me to take.  My life was about to change/transition into something new.  I was done with college, nearing the end of my time in Mason, and Shannon was taking off for two whole months to another continent.  

Before she left, Shannon and I decided that we had an incredible opportunity to draw closer to our God while she was gone.  And I really think we have.  I began trusting Him and relying on Him more than ever.  And I've been in so many situations and circumstances where God was my only comfort.  It's been crazy.  I've been praying to Him like I actually believed He was glued to every word I spoke (or thought).  I asked Him for guidance about what to do about a job, and He provided a red-haired friend and an opportunity.  Then I asked Him what to do about that, and He gave me great friends to tell me why I would be great at it and several reminders of why I love being a Young Life leader.  He gave me affirmation and a renewing of my passion.

Then I asked Him to grow my heart and take care of Shannon.  While she's been gone, we've been able to chat through Gmail most days, and we've been able to share our hearts while she's gone (hooray technology!).  Though it seemed impossible to grow closer while she was gone, it's happened.  And she's been through a lot of crazy things, but she's still safe.  It's not distance that has made our hearts grow fonder, it has been God.  I believe that with everything I have.

So over the past few weeks, Shan and I have been talking about me going down to Ecuador during her last few days there.  It wasn't that we missed each other so much that we couldn't wait a few more days to see each other, but that the opportunity to travel together was too good to pass up.  When else would be able to see a place like Ecuador, especially when one of us is already there?  So we discussed it, and ultimately asked God to make it happen or not make it happen.  And asked again, and again, and again.

So what happened?  I started looking at plane tickets and realized that, given my current financial situation, it was affordable.  I talked my good friend whose life situation 3 years ago is almost identical to mine, and he thought it was a good idea too.  After talking it over with Shannon again, we decided to go for it.  

Then I asked God for a round trip ticket that might include the same flight back as hers.  It was too expensive for her to change her flight, and I really wanted to be able to fly home with her.  It'd be kind of weird if we didn't.  But seriously, would that even be possible?  And then God happened again.  I found exactly what I was looking for, arriving when we wanted me to and flying home with the same itinerary.  So after freaking out about our luck (or our Lord), I went ahead and bought the ticket (with only 2 remaining at the time!).

At the time, I was also pleading with God to find a subleaser.  Since I was going to Crooked Creek with GP YL, traveling for 2 weeks, then moving by Aug. 1, I figured a subleaser would make sense.  And it would also help with paying for the plane ticket.  As it got closer to today, the day before I leave for Colorado with GP, I became more nervous.  Then, a few days ago, it appeared I had found someone.  But after a few days, several emails, and the advice of some friends, I decided it was a scam.  Kind of a long story that really doesn't deserve much blog space.  So after that conclusion, I was pretty down.  I asked God one more time for a subleaser as a last ditch plea.  And then He showed up again!  I was watching the NBA Draft and suddenly received a phone call.  After a brief conversation, it became known that this guy was

A. a real person

B. just as desperate to find a place to live as I was to find a subleaser

So we quickly reached an agreement over the phone.  I have a subleaser now!

AND...after buying my Ecuador ticket, I needed to set up an appointment to receive any shots and medications I'd need for my trip.  I called as soon as I could and booked the ONLY available appointment this week.  Which was huge since I need at least 2 weeks before I leave for the immunizations to be working.  And my appointment was exactly 14 days before I'd arrive.

So at this point, I'm a little overwhelmed; I feel pretty exhausted even writing all of this down for you to know about!  My relationship with God is hotter than Hansel right now.  I've seen God show up so many times over the last 2 months it's ridiculous, and especially over the past 8 days.  My only response is to stop what I'm doing, pick my jaw up off the floor, and praise Him.  For who He is, for what He does, and for how much He loves me.  

I hope all that makes sense.  I'm still feeling pretty woozy.**  Thanks for taking time to let me share my life with you.  

I'm hopefully leaving for Colorado with a ton of high school kids tomorrow afternoon.  So I'll be in touch in a week!

Where has God been showing up in your life?  I'd love to know!  Leave lots of comments.

P.S.  So on Tuesday night I was playing basketball and took an elbow to the eye.  The result: 3 stitches, a bad concussion, and a fractured right orbital.  I wasn't really praying to God for that to happen, but I've had this incredible peace about the whole situation.  I know it'll be okay.  And I'm anxious to see how God uses it.

Maybe I'll post some pictures sometime soon!  

God is Better than Groundhogs

Front doors are left open.  Sandals are being dusted off.  Birds are chirping, the sun is shining, and guys are struttin' down Shaw Ave. in cut-offs and shorts.  It looks like spring outside, so it must be, right?  I'll admit it's REALLY nice outside, but it's still only 39 degrees.  I think everyone is a little more anxious for spring this year after the snowiest winter I can remember.  But I don't think the fat lady has sung on old man winter yet.  If it snowed 2 feet in 5 days I wouldn't be surprised at all.

Nonetheless, I'm part of the crowd eagerly anticipating warmer weather.  In fact, I think I have a lot of things to eagerly anticipate as of late...probably more than usual.  I don't think it's too far of a limb to climb out onto to say Shan and graduation has something to do with that.

Last night a bunch of guys and I met for our weekly get together to talk about life and the Bible.  We read and talked about Hebrews 11, which is kind of like a halftime pep talk about heroes of the faith.  It begins by saying that "faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."  There's so much that I hope for these days and maybe even more that I do not see.  I'm in this crazy place where my faith is as strong as ever, but where I watch it crash into some of my biggest doubts I've had.  

Sometimes I think I'd feel better if a groundhog knocked on my door and told me what to expect.  But then again, I don't think I'd be satisfied with what he'd have to say.  So instead, I'll cling to the God I cannot see and the hope I that I am doing everything I can to be certain of.  Because spring will be here sooner or later...and God will show up in a huge way.